What a week!

Where to begin?  First of all, we're in the process of becoming a licensed fair!  When I married Christy I said, "Marry me and I promise that someday we'll be a traveling family fair."  Soon I will able to say that I made good on that promise.

In even more exciting news, we are adopting two additional alpaca!  These two are females, and will be the consorts of our dear Iguana.  They shall be called "Miser" and "Destroyer".  Here is a picture of them with a few of their current farm-mates.

It's been quite a week for Iguana, too.  We borrowed  pick-up truck to bring him to Chicago for Easter (the Sienna has seen it's last trip with ol' Iguana).  While we were at church he went to

work on one of our dinning room chairs.  All things considered, it could have been worse.  He could have really done

 a lot of damage.  Really, all that happened was he pooped

 all over the front room carpet and chewed the heck out of one of our chairs.  We thought we were good because we closed him i

n the bathroom before we left.  Lukas must have opened the door or something, because there he was braying in the dining room when we got home.

We had lamb for Easter dinner.  I wonder if that's what alpaca tastes like...

Iguana the Eunuch Alpaca?

A funny thing happens when you start down the path of becoming a bonded and incorporated carnival: people ask a bunch of questions.  And I mean a bunch.  What drives me crazy is these people don't have any interest in our love for alpacas, or in our desire to make high quality blankets.  They just want to know if our animals are "sexually intact" and if we'll be employing veterinarians.

Now I haven't put any money forth in this effort.  I'm still fact-finding.  But, geez, there are a lot of facts I don't care about.

The Fair Has Come To Town!

Okay, so my jerk neighbors (it's hard for me to call the people at the next farm 'neighbors') decided it was their business what I do with my alpaca.  What a bunch of jerks.  Anywho, after a visit from the sheriff and the county vet (does Cook county, IL even have a county vet?) I am supposed to get proof that Iguana originated in Wisconsin.  Well, of course I'm not crazy about going back to the breeder and asking for a certificate of veterinary inspection.  She'd probably even call the cops on me.

Fortunately, friends of the program, I have found a loophole.  If I incorporate myself as a traveling fair or carnival, any animals I own will not be subject to any Wisconsin livestock laws.  So, I'm weighing the options of incorporating myself as a carnival here in Illinois.  Step right up folks!  Be the first customers of the Amazing Beckstrom Family Carnival!  PS- there are no shows, exhibits or rides.

Stud Fees

Something I hadn't thought about until recently was the possibility of collecting stud fees for Iguana.  After doing a little research, it turns out a virile alpaca can command a handsome stud fee.  Also, it turns out a handsome alpaca can command a virile stud fee.  Either way, it sounds like nickels in the piggy bank.

I called around a bit this afternoon to see if I could get any of the neighboring farms to give me a price range I could expect for Iguana's stud fees.  Here are some samples of answers I received:

• "What's an alpaca?"
• "Who are you calling for?"
• "$600."
• "This is a water treatment facility."

When I informed the water treatment facility that I planned to grow my herd of alpaca they asked me not to call them anymore.  I thought I was being helpful.  I mean, what if the sudden (or more likely gradual) arrival of dozens and dozens of herding animals throws off the water tables (or something).  I couldn't get the guy on the phone interested.  We'll see if he's interested when I put a garbage bag full of alpaca poop through the mail slot at the water treatment facility.

In other news: Iguana dug up what appears to have been a den of baby rabbits this morning.  Now it's a den of grossness.  For a disinterested vegetarian, he sure found some bone to pick with those rabbits.  I guess Peter Cottontail won't be hopping down the bunny trail this Easter.  Well, not unless the bunny trail has a handicap ramp.  And even then... 

Well, the circle of life is a beautiful thing.  Creatures die, and become fertile ground, the sun shines, plants grow, the world keeps on turning.  Then one day an alpaca comes and eats the plant so it can have enough energy to go out and brutally mutilate a den of defenseless bunnies, who then become more fertile dirt.  It fills one with a sense of awe, doesn't it?

Iguana Arrives!

Well, we made it.  Somehow, someway.  We got Iguana from the breeder to our farm and everyone is in one piece.  It was quite an ordeal.

When we first arrived at the breeder's farm, she was a bit shocked that we didn't have a trailer.  "How do you suppose you are going to get the alpaca home?"  she inquired.

"We've got a Toyota Sienna," I replied.  We have a family saying that goes "Anything is possible when you've got a Toyota Sienna."  The breeder was not enthusiastic.    Our family is a family that believes in possibility.  It's hard for us to be around people, like our breeder, who are so preoccupied with their own negative view of the world that they can't make a little space for something magical to happen.

We pretended to leave, but we really just drove a few hundred yards down the road and pulled off to the side.  Within the hour the breeder drove by in her pick-up truck and we went right back to he farm.

Iguana was easy to find, he was in the most accessible pasture.  We led him to the mini-van and started trying to wrangle him into the back.  Young or old, alpaca are strong animals.  Well, after bribing him, fighting with him and pleading with him, all we really had to do was knock him over and get a dog leash around his neck.

The ride back to our farm was about an hour and  half.  That was about the most miserable hour and a half of my life!  Alpaca make a noise, I guess when they're unhappy, that sounds kind of like an old electric garage door opener struggling to open a door.  I certainly had my fill of that.  Also: alpaca smell.

We stopped at Wendy's to get something to eat.  I got my usual: the Main Man Meal.  That's a Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger, with a small chicken nuggets (placed under the bun) and a small fries (stacked, under the bun, like Lincoln Logs).  It's not on the menu as the Main Man Meal, but it's still awesome.  I got one for Iguana, too.  Mistake.  I don't think alpaca eat burgers, or even meat.  He just kind of chewed it the way someone who had lost feeling in their mouth would chew something.  It fell all over the seat.  It was then I noticed that while Iguana wasn't making his garage door opener noise, that he had been chewing and scratching the upholstery all to heck.  Nuts.

We finally got back to our farm and let Iguana out into the pasture.  I think he's happy.  He just wanders around, kind of exploring and coughing sometimes.  I'll bet he can't wait until we have a few buddies for him.  Lady buddies.

Iguana the Alpaca!

We bought our first alpaca today.  He's the little brown drink of water.  We've decided to name him "Iguana".  We thought it would be fun to keep him in our back yard here in Chicago for a few days, but there are apparently rules against that sort of thing.  He's still being boarded at the breeders, but we bought him fair and square.

I brought some BRUT aftershave up to Wisconsin to make sure little Iguana was irresistible to the females.  Unfortunately, the only female around was Iguana's mother.  Plus the breeder got pretty antsy when I took out the bottle of BRUT.  I was just kidding... sort of.  

So far the best part of alpaca ownership has been writing this blog telling you fine folks about little Iguana.  Really, the rest of the journey to ownership was just writing a big fat check. 

Taking the Plunge

We've all had dreams of casting off the chains of the work-a-day world. Ours happens to involve raising alpaca and using their wool to make fabulous blankets.

Well, while we are not quite ready to walk away from our 9-5s, we are ready to start our dream on the weekends. That's right, we'll be raising our alpaca on weekends at a Wisconsin farm.

It's a beautiful setting! We are certain that the kids will love the open space and fresh air. It makes us all too excited, just thinking about it.

Of course, like I said, we'll be raising alpaca on this farm. Many of you may be familiar with the popular "Snuggie" blanket. Well, our dream involves making a similar blanket from pure alpaca wool. We think the comfort and beauty of alpaca wool will be a selling point that other blanket providers will not be able to compete with.

While we haven't officially purchased our alpaca yet, we have identified a breeder. We will start out with three, but we hope they will have lots and lots of babies! We won't be around every day to give them all they attention they deserve, but we've got a plan. Until we are able to move to the farm, full-time, we are going to give them all the TLC they can handle on the weekends. Plus we've got a kiddie pool that we can fill with Iams to leave for them during the week. Besides, all that privacy will give them plenty of time to make some alpaca babies.

Keep checking back for updates on our exciting new adventure!