Stud Fees

Something I hadn't thought about until recently was the possibility of collecting stud fees for Iguana.  After doing a little research, it turns out a virile alpaca can command a handsome stud fee.  Also, it turns out a handsome alpaca can command a virile stud fee.  Either way, it sounds like nickels in the piggy bank.

I called around a bit this afternoon to see if I could get any of the neighboring farms to give me a price range I could expect for Iguana's stud fees.  Here are some samples of answers I received:

• "What's an alpaca?"
• "Who are you calling for?"
• "$600."
• "This is a water treatment facility."

When I informed the water treatment facility that I planned to grow my herd of alpaca they asked me not to call them anymore.  I thought I was being helpful.  I mean, what if the sudden (or more likely gradual) arrival of dozens and dozens of herding animals throws off the water tables (or something).  I couldn't get the guy on the phone interested.  We'll see if he's interested when I put a garbage bag full of alpaca poop through the mail slot at the water treatment facility.

In other news: Iguana dug up what appears to have been a den of baby rabbits this morning.  Now it's a den of grossness.  For a disinterested vegetarian, he sure found some bone to pick with those rabbits.  I guess Peter Cottontail won't be hopping down the bunny trail this Easter.  Well, not unless the bunny trail has a handicap ramp.  And even then... 

Well, the circle of life is a beautiful thing.  Creatures die, and become fertile ground, the sun shines, plants grow, the world keeps on turning.  Then one day an alpaca comes and eats the plant so it can have enough energy to go out and brutally mutilate a den of defenseless bunnies, who then become more fertile dirt.  It fills one with a sense of awe, doesn't it?